Terrific Tour

To celebrate and promote the release of SKIN TRADE I'm launching a blog tour out and about the interwebs. I'll keep you folks up to date here as to where and when I should appear on other folks' blogs. Also, if you host a blog and you'd like to have me come over for a post and ramble about some random topic or wanna ask me intimate probing questions, then just email me and I'll add you to the dates. I'll also hold a contest for a paperback copy of the book.

As for now, the book is free for a few days to download. If you snag a free copy, be sure and do a sister a solid by leaving a review of the book. I know you're gonna wanna read it, and I just know you're gonna really love it, so tell the world. Share the link with pals. Get the word out, because this book is made of super awesome fun time win! WOOP!





Here's the Amazonian link for downloads and such:
http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Trade-ebook/dp/B007PCVFDC/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_9

Simple Success

In his book THE INDIE JOURNEY, Scott Nicholson speaks about the measure of achievement when it comes to being an author. Is it a fat contract that will set you up for life? Is it a great big bag of money? Is it becoming a household name? Sure! These things are the most definable measures of success. But while the money and attention are great, there are other ways to define the success of a piece of work, one of which is reaching your audience. When you pen a piece, and you send it out into the world, you fret and worry that folks won’t like it. Then the reviews start coming back. Some love it; some hate it, but every once in a while someone connects with it. It touches them in an intimate way.
I have to admit, there is a certain satisfaction when someone ‘gets’ your work.
I recently received a review from the lovely folks at Living Dead Media, more specifically from Lori Bowland. She has reviewed my stuff in the past, and really seems to enjoy it. She’s been very generous with reviews., but this review was different. Lori took on my book BADASS ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP and read between the lines, all the way to the heart and soul of the story. (Or in this story’s sake, that should be “souls.”)
The point is, while lots of folks have both read and reviewed my BADASS, Lori got it on a level that a lot of folks will never understand. And that is fucking awesome.
When I started writing BADASS, I intended for it to be a buddy road trip story in the style of the old “Road To…” movies that featured three actors; Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour. I love the films, and thought it would be fun and funny to have a modern version of it. Of course, I wrote a zombie into the novel because, hey, zombies are fun and can be very funny. I also worked in a lot of subtle hints and nods, everything from occupations to character names. I did this mostly for myself, never knowing if anyone else would see the signs or get the jokes.
Lori did. She not only got it, she went even further by saying this: “Another great addition to the story is Candy who is so much like Dorothy Lamour that I can visualize her in a sarong.” (You can read the full review here.)
I am willing to admit when I read Lori’s full review, I teared up. Yup. I got all sentimental and weepy knowing that at least one person, aside from my chubby hubby, got the point of it. Not just laughed out loud, which I really love to hear folks say they did when they read it, but that she saw Bing and Bob and Dorothy in the three main characters. That she saw them enough to assign the roles and define their relationship. That the story felt like another “Road To…” movie. That I did what I set out to do.
Scott is right, knowing you reached that one person and shared such a personal moment with them makes the whole thing worth it. The book may never be a blockbuster or find its way onto Oprah’s book club list or see a treatment for the silver screen. (Which it totally should!) But I am happy knowing that I made at least a handful of folks wet themselves laughing, and at least one other “Road To…” fan smile.
Thanks Lori. I’m really pleased you liked it.
Later taters,
Tonia
Ps: I would like to clarify that I am unopposed to getting a fat contract, a great big bag of money or becoming a household name. Anyone interested in giving me one or all three of these things, email me asap!

Blockbuster Books


(Anyone that follows me on Facebook will know that I have a habit of posting amusing or insightful things my husband has said. Today I want to take a moment to share a much longer amusing bit of his.)

Mr. Brown had an interesting idea the other day. In light of the recent mashups and reworkings of past literature classics, he wants to release a line sequels and prequels to famous works. He says all he needs is a couple of authors willing to take the reigns up on the world’s best works and pick up where the others left off!

Here is a list of his ideas so far:

Slightly Larger Women
Second to Last Mochican
1985
Where the Red Fern Grew
Tale of a Third City
Back Around the World in Eighty Days
On The Road … Again
Finnegan’s Estate Settlement Hearing
Back With the Wind
Reduced Expectations
Catch-23
The Greater Gatsby
Lady Chatterley’s Former Lover
Prince of the Maggots
Slaughterhouse Six
Sun Also Sets
The Other Man in the Iron Mask

As you can see this list is an ever-growing work in progress. 
Feel free to add your ideas in the comment section.

Later taters,

Tonia

Amazing Alex


A few weeks ago I go this email:

Hi Tonia,
Just noticed your book ‘Badass Zombie Road Trip’ on Amazon and look forward to reading it. Looks like another fun take and markedly different from my own ‘Zombie Road Trip,’ which I recommend highly!
Cheers
T. Alex Miller


It should be noted that while I was searching for an alternate name for my novel, and decided upon Timothy Long's suggestion of Badass Zombie Road Trip, I did indeed stumble across Mr. Miller's book of a similar name. After a bit of perusing and thought, I decided it was so dissimilar in nature that our titles shouldn't clash too much in the great big world of publishing.

We sent a few mails back and forth and after some discussion I asked him if he would like to be interviewed on yea olde bloge. He agreed and here is the following silly results!

1) Who is Alex Miller?

I’m a newspaper editor living in the mountains of Colorado. A graduate of the University of Colorado-Boulder creative writing program, I’ve completed two novels and a short story collection, all on Kindle. I also write stage plays, which have been performed locally. I also act and occasionally direct. My wife and I have five kids and I’m a super-early rise, thus the ‘spare time’ to write stuff.



2) What prompted you to write ZOMBIE ROAD TRIP? Tell us a bit about it too.

As zombie-philes know, most Zee stories are about the survivors, with the dead acting as comic relief as the internecine relationship stuff is played out. I wanted to write something that explored a bit of what it’s like to actually be a zombie. Granted, the Zee POV is also becoming well-worn territory, but I also thought there was a lot of potential for humor along the way — and also the chance to answer some questions like ‘do zombies have to use the facilities ever?’ (Turns out they do, but they just kinda go as they go, like fish.) Early on, I thought it’d be hilarious for a bunch of people dressed as zombies at a Halloween party to become real zombies, thus the creation of the Zombie Marilyn Monroe character. So Zombie Road Trip becomes the story of the sentient zombie Ted trying to recover his memory and humanity while he drags Marilyn along as a sort of annoying travel partner. My favorite scene is the one where they get trapped in a room with a live, fat couple in their underwear and go after them. One thing I tried not to shy way from is what it might really be like to kill someone with your bare hands and teeth and then eat them – which parts would you go for first? It’s pretty graphic in that respect, and then somehow there’s a lot of pretty explicit sex.

3) What's your fave zombie movie? Book? Cartoon? Song?

I really like Zack Snyder’s remake of Dawn of the Dead, and of course am a big fan of The Walking Dead on AMC as well. I also really loved Max Brooks’ World War Z as well as the prequel to Pride  &  Prejudice & Zombies, Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith. So, so funny.

4) If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all of the seeds out of a dill pickle? What if the leg was titanium? And last but not least, what if the leg was made of Spam?

The amount of time it takes to peel an improperly cooked hardboiled egg divided by the number of midgets in Birmingham, Ala.

5) There is no question # 5.

Is your name not Bruce? That’s going to cause a bit o’ confusion.

6) What comments do you think zombies make about today's world on both a political and social level?

Quite a bit, really. A zombie apocalypse would be awful in many ways, but it would also really simplify our complex lives. No more mortgage or credit cards or co-pays or Facebook, right? There’s a lot of appeal in that, and I think partially that’s why people respond so strongly to Zee tales. Certainly there are elements of class stratification that resonate with our modern times (Zees at the bottom unless they’re in great enough numbers – talk about an angry 99%!) Also mixed in there is good ol’ fashioned American grit, know-how and independence – all attributes you’ll need for the Zee endgame.

7) What is your plan of action when the zombapocalypse finally arrives?

My son and I decided Walmart is really the place to hole up: You’ve got guns, food, medicine – all the basics.

8) Cheeseburgers or pizza?

pizza

9) If painting yourself a solid color all over became a required act, would you favor a particular color or choose a different one every day? 

A different one every day. My 10-year-old will only eat PBJs in his lunch, so I’ve set myself the challenge this year of cutting his sandwich differently every single day. I could see that carrying over to the body painting thing.

10) Beer or wine?

both

11) What is your idea of a perfect vacation?

Somewhere warm in April after our long winters.

12) Cats or dogs?

neither

13) What scares you?

Republicans in general and Rick Santorum in particular. Also, those mirror-filled rooms at carnivals.

14) Who would win in a fight between Bigfoot and a Chupacabra?

It depends: If Bigfoot could stomp Chupacabra, he could win, but if Chupa can get up and bit Bigfoot on the neck, he might take it.

And there we have it, a look into the mind of Alex Miller!

Thank you Alex for granting us such an up close and personal look at ya! WOOP!


Later taters,
Tonia