Spousal Spouting

(Y'all are going to have to indulge me on this entry. It's obsequious, sycophantic, and fawning. It’s all about my adorable husband and the very amusing things he says.)

"It may have said crescent rolls on the can, but there's nothing but triangles in here." ~ Tony Brown

Yes, my husband actually said this as he unrolled a can of croissants and laid them out, side by side, in full triangle glory, with every intention of baking said triangles just as they were.
(For those of you that don’t know, canned croissants come in a sheet of triangles that you have to roll up to make the crescent shapes.)
This is what I live with. This is what I have put up with for year upon year upon year. This is what makes up my life. And I love it!
Mr. Brown says the best things. I have been married to him for almost 15 years and I never tire of the crazy things he comes up with. Sometimes his wisdom is simple, sometimes oceanic in depth. But always, always, always it rings true. In this blog post I will share with you a few of these gems of wisdom.

“Everything is better when fried in butter.”
Now this is hard to contradict. Butter, I mean real butter and not that crap they pass off as spread, is sooooooo tasty. Butter in the pan smells like heaven. And things fried in butter… OMG. Butter will be the death of me. And my chubby hubby.

“I have never regretted having a cart, but I have often regretted NOT having a cart.”
This is in reference to shopping carts. Every time, and I mean every time we go to a store, whether we are buying groceries or just a pack of gum, he has to get a cart. He’s one of those asshats that pushes a cart up and down those very narrow aisles in the dollar store. Yeah, that guy. But he has a point. There have been many a time I wished I had grabbed a cart on the way in, yet I have never gotten to the end of my shopping experience and thought, “Oh what a waste of energy to have pushed this thing around the whole time I was here.” So, again the man is wise.

“Things which are not apparently connected are often connected in ways that aren’t immediately apparent.”
Do I need to explain how awesome this is?

“A threesome is a nice idea, but in execution it can lead to dangerous things … like potential injuries … and math.”
If you know anything about my spouse, this is the funniest thing you will ever hear come out of his mouth.

Okay so that’s all I can think of right now. I’ll try to add more later as I remember them.

And of course as he says them.

Later taters!