Run, Fat Girl! Run! Part 5


And now for the review of Battlesuit Runner: 

At first I couldn’t help but compared it to ZR, but that isn’t fair to this game considering it is a wholly different experience. First of all, the storyline of this app is hardcore scifi and military fiction instead of the emotional post appoc horror story of ZR. You operate a mech suit, which is awesome, and fight aliens, which is also awesome! 

The main difference, and one I would’ve mentioned whether or not I’d played ZR, is the lack of presentation. I just don’t like how it’s set up, or the art used. I think the main artwork looks a little amateurish, and the design of the game lacks some bells and whistles they could’ve poked in just for fun.
Srsly? Yup, this is it. Drink it in, baby!
 Other than that, the game contains everything you need for it to function without frills, which I suppose keeps in line with the military theme. Again, the art is so-so, but that is just a matter of taste. The voice actors are pretty good, each one seems gruff enough to be special ops agents and soldiers. I was put off by some of the voices at first, but after they settled into their roles, the missions began to unfold more naturally. Though, there is one tiny complaint I have about the storyline. 

The only woman’s voice so far is the computer. 

I don’t know if they just don’t have any lady friends that are willing to help, or if they haven’t written any active female parts yet, but it’s kind of disheartening. I have only done the first five missions, so I suppose there could be some more ladies coming up. I am not knocking the whole thing because of this one issue. It’s still a great app. I just get the impression it might be geared more toward the men folks, which is okay. I will still use it, even if my boobs get in the way of my arm exercises. And they do.

He plays the actual in app music. No joke. Google that shit.
One thing I really like about BSR is the integration with your playlist. When you go into battle mode, actually fighting the Xenos and whatnot, the whole thing plays over your music. For example, the game sets you up for a fight with some baddies, telling you how many beasts are incoming as your gunner psychs you up for the battle. At this point, your playlist comes on and while you’re listening to KT Tunstall sing about a big black horse and a cherry tree, you’re kicking ass and taking names! It’s a pretty cool feature. This android sounding chick starts spouting off damage reports and alien proximity and stuff over whatever comes up on your mix. I super enjoy that part. The first time it happened, I laughed out loud. It was kind of a surprise. I thought it would just play some of its own in game music, but no, the first battle I fought to the soundtrack of Take Your Mama from the Scissor Sisters. Nice!

So, artwork and lack of lady voices aside, I really like this app. You don’t need to use the GPS so you can use it in stationary workouts like biking and other stuff. It is really simple and basic, but not in a bad way. If nothing else, the price is right at only 99 cents. Yup, that’s it. It is way cheaper than other running coaches, and even as a free demo you can try. I give it 4 out of 5 heaving breaths of exhaustion because I think they have a lot of room for improvement concerning the presentation. But again, what do you expect for less than a buck? A rubber biscuit? 

I'm so sorry, Grumpy Cat.
Mmmmm, biscuit…

Join me tomorrow as I start picking apart Jack White’s new album, Lazaretto. WOOP!