(Get out your galoshes folks, this is gonna be a gushy entry.)
I am in love. Yup.
Now, don't get all excited for me, 'cause this is kind of old news. You see, I've been in love for over 15 years now. I know, I know. That sounds like the beginning of some jeweler's ad, doesn't it? But it's true. Love is a many splendored thing, and I have seen it's splendor.
Tony Brown makes loving too easy. Sometimes I wonder what we are doing wrong because I hear so many people talk about how hard marriage is. For us it's not. Sure we have our tifts, but nothing so dramatic as other folks. (If he would just learn to pick up his shoes from the middle of the floor so I don't break my neck on them every damned day, I'd be complete.) What do others fight about? Money? Fidelity? Sex?
When asked what makes our marriage work, I always give two answers:
First, communication. We talk about everything. I do mean EVERYTHING. Sometimes it isn't easy. Sometimes there are tears and such (I tend to cry at the drop of a hat so no surprise there) but in the end talking things out saves a whole lot of heartache later on. Talk to your sweetheart. Tell them what bugs you now, no matter how small. The way you hate how she flips on the lights when she wakes you up for work might seem like a petty issue now, but ten years from now when you pile it up against the hundreds of other little things she does that annoys you, the dam will bust and it will all come flooding out in a barking torrent of hate. Some say to get over the little things. I say settle them now before they become big things. Talk about everything and then nothing can stand in your way.
My second piece of advice is share a hobby. I know this sounds lame, but if you share something you both love, then it will bring you closer together. I've seen a marriage saved by racing. Yes, racing brought a couple back from the brink of divorce. Tony and I share many hobbies. He listens to me ramble on about writing, and gives me wonderful plot advice and great character ideas. Likewise, I have spent countless hours scrubbing bottles and mashing fruit for his wine makings. If you share a hobby then you share time, and when you share time together you get closer, you love deeper, you love longer. Believe it.
Well enough rambling. I know I'm not an expert on relationships, I'm just a woman in love. I have also decided to celebrate Valentine's Day by posting a poem I wrote for my husband many moons ago. I wrote it just after we married, if it's not obvious. I suspect that most of you will make faces and want to barf. Sorry if it makes you sick, but I'm in love. I can't help it!
For those who haven't lost faith in love I say enjoy.
And for those who have lost faith, I say keep your eyes open or it will take you by surprise.
Two circles perched, one in, one out
Two hollow rings of gold
Two bands have led me to my rout
Within their symbols old
I never dreamed I would behold
The change that they would bring
Or let my heart as well enfold
The songs of joy they sing
The first a jeweled and finer thing
A loop of golden hue
Of promise wrapped around a ring
A question asked of few
The second brought my answer true
A vow that changed my life
Then took its place with diamond view
Betrothing man and wife
Two rings bring love and now I’m rife
With happiness devout,
And when I’m weak in times of strife
Two rings remove all doubt.