Spine chillin, hair rasing, goosebump inducing scene, huh? Le'me reach into the old bag of tricks and see what pops out!
When we were living in Japan, my dad was able to get his hands on an early version of the VCR. The enormous top loading ones with the tapes that weigh a million tons. I know you're thinking, big deal. VCR? Woopty doodle do. Sure, everyone has one now, or rather had one they replaced with a DVD player, but back in the day this was a big fecking deal! A VCR folks! And we had one! WOOP!As a family we tended to watch mostly horror movies. I think perhaps that's all they were putting on tape in those days ... well that and porn. Our parents would have to screen the horror movies first, not for the violence, but to make sure we hid our eyes during the sexy scenes. Because as we all know, a beheading via machete is okay for a little girl to watch, as long as there isn't a couple humping in the background! As a result of this previewing, they always knew what was coming and relished every jump, shout of surprise, and scream of fright.
This paid off in spades once for my father, because a the end of Friday the 13th, when the kid jumps out of the water and pulls the lead female from the boat, he knew it was going to happen. So what does good old dad do? He hides behind the couch where all three of my sisters and me, ages 10, 9, 7 and 7, all sat innocently watching the end of the film. When Jason jumps out of the water, Dad leap up from the back of the couch in the same sweeping motion, grabbing us up on a tight little group.We all screamed.
And peed.
Screamed and peed.
Then screamed and peed some more.
I can honestly say, from the bottom of my black little heart, that it's the only time a movie scene genuinely scared the piss out of me. I think perhaps I have been chasing that same emotional reaction ever since. I think maybe that moment in time is etched into my memory, and my obsession with horror is merely an attempt to recapture that precious moment of fright.
Or maybe I just wanna have an excuse to pee on the couch again. Not that I need one. I mean, I am an adult now and it is my couch. But just peeing on it for no reason?
That's just .... weird.
I thought I should also mention yet another side effect of all the horror watching at a young age. For the longest time I associated sex with death. It's a natural thing, I suppose, with this whole idea that sex itself is one step from death. But in this case I genuinely believed that sex lead to your mortal demise. (Not just your moral demise.) Why? Well think about it: you watch two folks necking, are told by your mother to turn your head, and when you are allowed to look back again the happy couple is now happily split ... into pieces spread all over the place! A head here, a liver there, and what led to this terrible fate ?
That's right, sex!
Thus well into my teenage years I really believed that sex started off with kissing but always ended with someone getting an arrow in the throat.
Turned out I wasn't too far off, eh? Tee hee hee!
Feel free to post your favorite horror movie scares, with or without couch pissing fright.
Later taters,
Tonia