A Word With Emerian Rich

I asked a group of lovely ladies if they would like to appear on my blog. Some of them actually took me up on it! So here we are, having a word with Emerian Rich.

Who in the hell are you? What are you doing on my blog!  
ACK! It’s just me Emz!  

Oh… that’s right, I invited you. *ahem* I meant to say, take a moment to introduce yourself.
My name is Emerian Rich. I am an author, artist, and Horror Hostess for the podcast HorrorAddicts.net.

If you could pick one word to describe your creative side, what would it be, and why?
Insane. (Insanity? Not sure which form you want it in.) When ideas come to me, they just come and they don’t stop until I’ve cramps from writing so much or paint from head to toe. My characters, whether they be in fiction or picture, tend to be relentlessly harsh on me.

What do you like on a baked potato?
Butter and pepper, naturally.

What do you think lead you to do that voodoo that you do so well?
It’s a compulsion. I can’t stop myself and I’m hyperactive. It doesn’t matter what I happen to be doing at the time, everything must stop to jot down the idea before it gives me a stroke.

Who do you consider your biggest influence in your field?
Has to be Anne Rice. I started writing before I read her, but when I read her work, I loved the stories so much, I wanted to expand on them. I loved those assignments when I was young and the teacher would write on the board something like, “Joe got a bouncy ball for Christmas and…” I loved filling in what happened after and got in trouble all the time from mom for saying, “What if…”

What’s the biggest potato you’ve ever eaten?
I’d have to check my potato-eating records to be sure and they are locked in a high security vault in Belgium. Can I get back to you?

If you had to pick between the three primary colors—yellow, red and blue—which do you think the world could do without?
Omg!!! None. As an artist, it would be blasphemous to call out any of the colors. I’d like to do without yellow, but then you’d have no orange or green. Get rid of blue and there goes your purples and aquamarine! And we must have red. If we didn’t have red… what color would blood be? Yellow? If CSI had to figure out what happened to a body, they’d have to send it to the lab to check if it was blood or urine! Or taste it, and that’s just disgusting.

Do you prefer granny panties or thongs? Or perhaps neither?
A lady does not speak of unmentionables. That is why they are called unmentionables. Since I’m not a lady, I’ll tell you… I like mens boxer briefs or boyshorts. How come men get the comfy clothes?

In fifty lying words or less, tell us why they call those little buds on potatoes ‘eyes.’ (In other words, I am not looking for the real reason. Be creative!)
They are portals to bug world. The bugs stare out of the “eyes” into our world, awaiting passage into our realm. When we aren’t watching, they shoot out of them and infect our kitchens! Leave some out for a few weeks, you’ll see nats multiple out of thin air!

In one word, describe the secret to success. Denial.

Why is it I can never find a parking place when I am in a rush? Every time I go somewhere just for funsies or goofing off, there are twenty places right up front. But if I am in a rush? Nope! Not a space in site!
I’m sorry, that’s my fault. I told everyone you were in a rush and they did my evil bidding. Mwhwhahaha

How many potatoes do you think you can you lift? I am talking standard Idaho, approx 13.5 oz. What? I am NOT obsessed with potatoes! You’re like the third person this week to say that. Just answer the question.
I can lift precisely 13.3 and not an ounce over! Therefore, if you want any potatoes lifted, you must cut them carefully so I don’t sprain my precious wrists. (How come I feel like I’m in Alice in Wonderland? Lmao)

If you could treat any one person to dinner and a movie for all they have done for you, who would you take, where would you eat and what movie would you see? It would be my husband and a sitter would have to be included for my eight year old autistic son. I’d take him to his favorite British pub here in San Francisco, he’d eat Yorkshire Pudding and I’d have salad. He’d want to see some Marvel crap and I’d want to see some haunting horror with a romantic twist. We’d finally end up agreeing to something stupid we both hate. That’s as specific as I can get because we haven’t gone in so long, I don’t know what’s out!

What projects do you have on the burner right now? My brain just exploded. I have so many I don’t know where to start. The new season of HorrorAddicts.net starts in April, I have one (maybe two) romance novels coming out before then, and I have a horror podcast novel coming out to accompany my horror book, Artistic License, about a girl who inherits a house where everything she paints on the wall comes alive. That’s the short list.

 If you had to have a few words of warning about yourself tattooed on your forehead to alert others of your dangerous nature, what would it say? (Hint: Mine would probably say, “Beware of gassy emissions.”) “Never Underestimate.”I am a 5 ft “happy” goth who no one really knows how to react to. A lot of times they think I’m just some kid because my voice sounds like Minnie Mouse. Often I find myself being judged by my appearance or voice. They don’t really take me seriously until they listen to me give a lecture or read something I’ve written.

Say goodnight, Gracie.
I will not speak to that cat like she’s a person! She is not my sister, damnit! Sorry…my mom has a cat named Gray-See because she’s Gray, see? And she always says my sister is talking to me. -.-


Emerian Rich is a writer, artist, and Horror Hostess of the popular international podcast, HorrorAddicts.net. She is the author of the Night's Knights Vampire Series and also writes the Sweet Dreams Musical Romance Series under the name Emmy Z. Madrigal.

For more information about Emz, visit emzbox.com.