A Word With Chantal Noordeloos

If you read her name as Chantal Noodles, don't worry, you aren't alone. I met up with this young lady via Facebook, and since then have become fast friends. A fellow steampunk writer, she is the author of the Coyote series. She also recently made the prelim ballot for a pretty prestigious award, which I am super jelly of. So jelly I'm smelly. *sniffs self* Or maybe I just need a shower. 

Tell you what, you read her interview while I go and hose myself down:

Who in the hell are you? What are you doing on my blog! Oh… that’s right, I invited you. *ahem* I meant to say, take a moment to introduce yourself.

I’m Noodles… wait, no… that’s just what most people call me these days. Chanti used to be my nickname, but since most non-Dutch people struggle with my last name ‘Noordeloos’, I get called Noodles a lot. My ‘real’ name isn’t half as fun, it’s Chantal Noordeloos. As you might have guessed I’m a writer, mostly of speculative fiction.

If you could pick one word to describe your creative side, what would it be, and why?
One word? Wow… that’s fairly evil. Ehm. I’d go with ‘Twisty’. Why? Because it’s one word, not two… I don’t know. I guess because I like to write stories with a twist, and also because there are a lot of different sides to my creativity, which all twist together in stories (and sometimes drawings) You never said I needed to make sense.

What do you like on a baked potato?
Baked Potatoes aren’t that ‘big’ in my country, so I don’t know what wonderful things I can choose from. I like crème fraiche and chives, but I’m sure there are more stunning combinations out there, that I would like to try. Also: I don’t like to stick to one flavor, I get bored too easily. 

Aren't that big? Are you saying the Netherlands are small potatoes? Poor foreigners. We Americans take our taters very seriously.

What do you think lead you to do that voodoo that you do so well?
An unlimited imagination. I’ve been a storyteller all my life. I think I just never wanted to accept reality as it was, so I started making up my own things. When you’re like that you can do two things: go insane or be an artist (which is basically the same thing).

Who do you consider your biggest influence in your field?
Eh… well I think I’ve been influenced more by the people around me than I have been by famous writers, but if I would have to pick one: Neil Gaiman is the author who seems to write the things I want to read, which coincidentally tend to be the things I want to write as well.

I love him so hard. So very, very hard. Scary hard. 

What’s the biggest potato you’ve ever eaten?
I wish I would have paid more attention to the potatoes in my life.

Yes, yes you should have. Taters are important. Pay more attention.

If you had to pick between the three primary colors—yellow, red and blue—which do you think the world could do without?
I’m not a fan of red… but without red there would be no purple. And I can’t do without Yellow, so instead I sacrifice myself to defend the colors with my life from whatever monstrosity is looking to steal them.

Do you prefer granny panties or thongs? Or perhaps neither?
For years I wore boxer shorts, then when I went through… ehm… a phase, I wore thongs for a while, but I switched back to ‘in-between-pants’. I don’t like granny panties, because they are just too high, which is uncomfortable. And going commando is not an option, because I’m a bit OCD on the hygiene and that would mean I’d have to wash my trousers every day.

Personally, I prefer panties that cover my fat ass. But that's just me. 

In fifty lying words or less, tell us why they call those little buds on potatoes ‘eyes.’ (In other words, I am not looking for the real reason. Be creative!)
The *are* eyes. Potato elves put them there to spy on the humans. The reason why they are still on the potatoes, is because the elves can’t find them anymore –since they have no eyes to see… and they wander forever, blind. It’s a sad tale.

In one word, describe the secret to success.
(I want to say well kept, or well kept secret… but I only got one word again. You really are punishing my long-windedness, aren’t you?)

Why is it I can never find a parking place when I am in a rush? Every time I go somewhere just for funsies or goofing off, there are twenty places right up front. But if I am in a rush? Nope! Not a space in site!
It’s the potato elves… they work together with the key gnomes and the parking space dwarves. Can’t trust those little buggers.

How many potatoes do you think you can you lift? I am talking standard Idaho, approx 13.5 oz. What? I am NOT obsessed with potatoes! You’re like the fourth person this week to say that. Just answer the question.
Have a strange craving for potatoes now. I don’t know what brought it on. Hold on while I go and cook myself a potato.

If you could treat any one person to dinner and a movie for all they have done for you, who would you take, where would you eat and what movie would you see?
Made some lovely mashed potatoes. Only the bottom bit burned a little. Wait… what were we talking about? Movies?
I’d have to take my husband along (yes, booooring, but I would) and I would take him to eat at Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck (since this is imaginary and the imaginary world I have ALL the money and reservations are a doozy) and we’d go see… ehm… I don’t know what’s playing right now. If it’s an old movie, I’d take him to see Shawshank Redemption.

What projects do you have on the burner right now?
Am still working on my first short story in my ‘EVEN HELL HAS STANDARDS’ collection. It’ll be seven sins and the first one is ‘PRIDE’.
‘COYOTE: THE CLOCKWORK DRAGONFLY’, which is the second novel in the coyote series, is currently in the hands of beta-readers. I’m working on the second screen stories for the second novel.
‘ALLERIA’, my young adult dark fantasy novel, is in the final (self) editing round, and then it’ll go to an editor.
And today I started on the first pages of my Haunted House novel (no name yet). So… busy, busy, busy.

 If you had to have a few words of warning about yourself tattooed on your forehead to alert others of your dangerous nature, what would it say? (Hint: Mine would probably say, “Beware of gassy emissions.”)
Mine would say: Danger:… ooooh butterfly

Say goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight…*points* look at the butterfly

Born and raised in the Netherlands, Chantal Noordeloos lives in The Hague with her beautiful daughter and wacky husband.
She writes mostly in English and her work has been featured in several magazines and anthologies. In 2013 she published her first Steampunk novel and horror collection.

Twitter: C_Noordeloos